The Life of Riley

Snowed In

2012-02-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

This winter has been rough.
The past few months have been a time for reinvention and change.
Since I left Go Daddy (or should I say since Go Daddy left me) I have been taking time to add some tools to my shed. I started Cisco training, which I am almost finished with (for now). :) In a few weeks I'll have my CCNA completed and will be a certified network geek. Hopefully this equates to better jobs that are not phone support. Either way I will be acquiring more training as my career progresses, my next immediate certification will be the CCNA Voice. It definitely helps to have a specialty focus in my field, as having one will yield more stable work. I'd love to work in Network Security in the near future, but supporting VoIP will pay the bills and buy Alexis and the Subaru nice things too :).

I've been trying to work on some of my art projects. I have written some new guitar licks and programmed some new beats. I've gotten a chance to start on a podcast. I'm putting together a sci-fi canon for a book I'm planning to write. Works in progress. Quality over quantity. Plus I'm lazy.

My health is still something that we have to keep an eye on, my organs don't like to cooperate at times, and neither do my joints or muscles on bad days. I guess that comes with stress.

Anywho, those are the comings and goings.

2011-10-31T09:07:00.001-07:00

quarantined. that's a ridiculous idea

The Wheel Turns

2011-10-02T14:56:00.001-07:00

I can't wait for Halloween!

It's nice to have my own house where I can have trick-o-treaters!

House will be extra creepy this year.

Work.

2011-09-02T18:25:00.001-07:00

For the record:

I can't stand a majority of the people I work with.

I even try to be friendly with them, still they act like douchebags.

I work in a sales environment, so most of them are clueless extroverts.

As much as I want to like people, they fail at every turn.

Maybe if they got to know me outside of the workplace, they'd understand that I'm not a shallow piece of trash, which is how they treat me.

I'm a totally different person without the stress of talking to the general public.

Synchronous

2011-04-04T11:10:00.001-07:00

Natural cycles are harmonizing with activity

Stress

2010-12-28T06:09:00.000-08:00

Stress can do some crazy things to you.

This is why we have vacation time at work.

Hopefully today can relieve some of that stress.

a being is not made of sand

2010-03-14T00:53:00.001-08:00

Known and mastered shadows beckon us,
and they cower before Him.
Their brightest desire is our undoing.
Extinction is their solution.
When you slow the rate of your breathing,
how clear the glass box they've helped you build around yourself will become.
Will, be the hammer.
Vessel, endure the cleansing.
Mind, ward off the shards.
Spirit Perpetual, you are unchanging.
Keeping the animal under control.
Remember that some of us choose to be more than monkeys.
A skeleton made from the foundation itself.
Eternal Stone unbroken, be our guide.

Monday, August 20, 2007

chain reaction

2010-03-14T00:51:00.000-08:00

transcendental beings are woven into the veil.
in singular symbiotic mind, liberty is uniquely collective.
to equal agents of objective influence being viewed
through crooked shutters of idealistic imaginations,
choice reigns supreme.
we are the choices we make.
catalysts act one molecule at a time.

Friday, August 31, 2007

musica universalis

2010-03-14T00:49:00.000-08:00

radiance shines from the orbital shape of the eyes.
pulled by gravity like lost children to mother.
a reaction for every action, balance and symmetry.
we are sonoluminescent spheres returning home.
swimming along energy's flow, swimming in harmony.
every particle adheres to the memory of fusion.
spinning, spinning, on and off.
a pulsar's distress for rebirth.

Monday, September 24, 2007

eulalia

2010-02-08T19:21:00.000-08:00

I felt you breathe from across the room
Intoxicated by the way you moved
Let's disappear
Baby together we can disappear

Sit back relax and watch the blues collide
The same desire inside a new design

All my life I've never felt so alive
I've got so much on my mind nothing I would try to put to tune
Or keep in time
Where the ocean meets the sky dressed in lights
But I can barely see your eyes in the moonlight

Sit back relax and watch the blues collide
The same desire inside a new design

All my life I've never felt so alive
I've got so much on my mind nothing I would try to put to tune
Sit back relax and put the car in drive
We'll use the headlights as our guides
We'll sleep under the stars tonight
Sit back relax and watch them shine

Backs break with the waves tonight

All my life I've never felt so alive
I've got so much on my mind nothing I would try to put to tune
Sit back relax and put the car in drive
We'll use the headlights as our guides
We'll sleep under the stars tonight
Sit back relax and watch them shine

the noose

2009-11-30T21:56:00.000-08:00

So glad to see you well
Overcome and completely silent now
With heaven's help you cast your demons out
And not to pull your halo down around your neck and tug you off your cloud
But I'm more than just a little curious
how you're planning to go about making your amends to the dead

Recall the deeds as if they're all someone else's atrocious stories
Now you stand reborn before us all
So glad to see you well

And not to pull your halo down around your neck and tug you to the ground
But I'm more than just a little curious
how you're planning to go about making your amends to the dead

With your halo slipping down
Your halo slipping
Your halo slipping down
Your halo slipping down to choke you now

distance

2009-11-30T21:17:00.000-08:00

I figure I'll write in my blog at least once more before this crazy year ends.
Since my last entry a lot has changed.

I've started working for GoDaddy.com,
and it has made a great difference in life quality.
My schedules were pretty screwy in the beginning, however now I'm working Monday through Friday for once in my life, so I can't complain.

Everyone around me seems to be experiencing huge changes in the way they live life.
Some people are finishing school, some people are having children, other people are changing jobs like me, and other people are settling down.

Time seems to be speeding up. I feel like there are times where I wish I could stop it or even rewind it because I can't keep up with it. I guess this is what it feels like to 'grow up'.
I don't think I like it very much.

Personalities

2009-09-16T18:49:00.000-07:00

Dear family, friends, and whoever else reads this:

For years I have been utilizing this Myers-Briggs personality test to better understand myself, and others. It is an awesome tool that truly helps bring out the best in life, if utilized properly. Very insightful, and there is a lot to read all over the interwebs about your type once you determine exactly what it is.

Part of discovering your type is actually reading the type profiles. No two people are alike, however we all fit into archetypes. When you take the test, try to have your spouse or someone who knows you well there reading the questions with you. Of course you as the individual know your internal workings best but there will be times where you will think you act one way when in actuality you act the opposite, hence the reason for having a significant other and/or friend there to help. Once you find your type, google it and read a few profiles. If it fits you almost perfectly, it's probably a good result. Take the test every few days and/or weeks to make sure that you hit the mark. Try reading some other types if you don't think or feel like your type makes much sense. A true typologist would not assign a type to you without your confirmation that it is a great match for who you are.

I am an INTJ, or "Rational Mastermind".
See also Keirsey Temperments.

Have fun!
The link for the test is posted below.

PS Post your type in the comments!

Myers-Briggs Personality Test

Beggars

2009-09-12T16:54:00.000-07:00

All you great men of power, you who boast of your feats -
Politicians and entrepreneurs.
Can you safeguard your breath in the night while you sleep?
Keep your heart beating steady and sure?
As you lie in your bed, does the thought haunt your head
That you’re really, rather small?
If there’s one thing I know in this life: we are beggars all.

All you champions of science and rulers of men,
Can you summon the sun from its sleep?
Does the earth seek your counsel on how fast to spin?
Can you shut up the gates of the deep?
Don’t you know that all things hang, as if by a string,
O’er the darkness - poised to fall?
If there’s one thing I know in this life: we are beggars all.

All you big shots that swagger and stride with conceit,
Did you devise how your frame would be formed?
If you’d be raised in a palace, or live out in the streets,
Did you choose the place or the hour you’d be born?
Tell me what can you claim? Not a thing - not your name!
Tell me if you can recall just one thing,
That’s not a gift in this life?

Can you hear what’s been said?
Can you see now that everything’s grace after all?
If there’s one thing I know in this life: we are beggars all.

Mosiah 4:19

Healing

2009-08-27T10:59:00.000-07:00

For a little over three weeks I have been pretty sick.
I had a kidney infection for almost a week and a half before I went to the doc and caught it. Since then I've been to the ER and through two separate antibiotic regimens. Infection is gone, but the pain, nausea, and headache is not. To top it all off I woke up with a monster of a virus on Tuesday. Thank goodness and Grandpa for never relenting on the health benefits of apple cider vinegar, it's wiping out my sore throat pretty well.

I don't mean to complain, just figured I'd provide a pragmatic update.

Hopefully I will be well enough come next month to improve life's circumstances in every sphere. I know changes can be gradual. I feel due for a good shift in quality of life. Not that life is terrible, it's actually quite good however these physical ailments really break the camel's back with all the work stress I've been experiencing. My main focus lately has been on improving my patience in all aspects of my life. This has been a difficult task yet a fruitful blessing. I know that over time I will return to a state of health normalcy. I am grateful for the friends and family in my life that have helped me through this hard time.

My dear wife has been nothing but helpful and caring. Even through difficult times she is as stalwartly selfless as she can be. I love Alexis with all my soul, too much for words to describe. I could never say it enough, I am so infinitely grateful for her.

More important news to come.

Health & Sickness

2009-08-25T16:02:00.000-07:00

You can't have one without the other

Always Getting What You Want

2009-08-08T13:12:00.000-07:00

Borders that we say are policing you back to their arms.
Tension to take, pills that'll make you feel higher inside.

Do you often look back on us, feeling confidently?
Would it make any difference if I wasn't late,
Or I'd been too angry to show?

The sovereign statement's wrong.
It's a bylaw and a valiant one
To honor hopeful thoughts.
It's the talent, not the promo shots

Story has shown you all felt alone.
Story has shown you all felt alone.
Even if... if the sound it makes when it's tightening,
Sweet winding up of a mandolin hurts your fingers

And you try to hold on but it's not quite working.
This reminds me of the sound you make when we disagree.

Story has shown you all felt alone.
Story has shown you all felt alone.
Even if you've been so close you're not alone anymore,
Still we grow.
Still we grow.
Even if it reminds the sounds you always used to make.

2009-07-29T16:45:00.001-07:00

"You can never get enough of what you don't need, because what you don't need won't satisfy you."
— Dallin H. Oaks

2009-07-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

The bishop should schedule adequate time for appointments.
Members should not feel that he is too busy and can devote only a few minutes to them.

Thomas Jefferson

2009-07-01T16:13:00.000-07:00

In celebration of the 4th of July,
I feel it fitting to post some quotes by my favorite founding father,
Thomas Jefferson.
I'm sure you will find them insightful, and even enlightening.
Thank you.

"We never repent of having eaten too little."

"They [the clergy] believe that any portion of power confided to me, will be exerted in opposition to their schemes. And they believe rightly; for I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. But this is all they have to fear from me: and enough, too, in their opinion. "

"Among the sayings and discourses imputed to him [Jesus] by his biographers, I find many passages of fine imagination, correct morality, and of the most lovely benevolence; and others again of so much ignorance, so much absurdity, so much untruth, charlatanism, and imposture, as to pronounce it impossible that such contradictions should have proceeded from the same being."

"Enlighten the people, generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like spirits at the dawn of day. "

"Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state. "

"Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom. "

"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs. "

"Never trouble another for what you can do for yourself. "

"Man once surrendering his reason, has no remaining guard against absurdities the most monstrous, and like a ship without rudder, is the sport of every wind. "

"An honest man can feel no pleasure in the exercise of power over his fellow citizens. "

"Errors of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it. "

"Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny."

"Force is the vital principle and immediate parent of despotism."

"He who knows best knows how little he knows."

"I have no fear that the result of our experiment will be that men may be trusted to govern themselves without a master."

"I hope our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us, that the less we use our power the greater it will be."

"I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend."

"It behooves every man who values liberty of conscience for himself, to resist invasions of it in the case of others: or their case may, by change of circumstances, become his own."

"It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself."

"It is in our lives and not our words that our religion must be read."

"Rightful liberty is unobstructed action according to our will within limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others. I do not add 'within the limits of the law' because law is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the rights of the individual. "

"We are not to expect to be translated from despotism to liberty in a featherbed. "

"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."

"We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

Salvation" A Discourse by President Brigham Young, Delivered in the Tabernacle, Great Salt Lake City, January 16, 1853.

2009-06-12T20:44:00.001-07:00

The plan of salvation, or, in other words, the redemption of fallen beings, is a subject that should occupy the attention of all intelligence that pertains to fallen beings. I do not like the term fallen beings, but I will say, subjected intelligence, which term suits me better—subjected to law, order, rule, and government. All intelligences are deeply engaged in this grand object; not, however, having a correct understanding of the true principle thereof, they wander to and fro, some to the right, and some to the left. There is not a person in this world, who is endowed with a common share of intellect, but is laboring with all his power for salvation. Men vary in their efforts to obtain that object, still their individual conclusions are, that they will ultimately secure it. The merchant, for instance, seeks with unwearied diligence, by night and by day, facing misfortunes with a determined and persevering resistance, enduring losses by sea and by land, with an unshaken patience, to amass a sufficient amount of wealth to enable him to settle calmly down in the midst of plenty in some opulent city, walk in the higher classes of society, and perchance receive a worldly title, or worldly honor, and enjoy a freedom from all anxiety of business, and constraint by poverty, throughout the remainder of his life. He then supposes he has obtained salvation.
Descend from the busy, wealth-seeking middle classes, to the humbler grade of society, and follow them in their various occupations and pursuits, and each one of them is seeking earnestly that which he imagines to be salvation. The poor, ragged, trembling mendicant, who is forced by hunger and cold to drag his feeble body from under some temporary shelter, to seek a bit of bread, or a coin from his more fortunate fellow mortal, if he can only obtain a few crusts of bread to satisfy the hunger-worm that gnaws his vitals, and a few coppers to pay his lodgings, he has attained to the summit of his expectations, to what he sought for salvation, and he is comparatively happy, but his happiness vanishes with the shades of night, and his misery comes with the morning light. From the matchmaker up to the tradesman, all have an end in view, which they suppose will bring to them salvation. King, courtier, commanders, officers, and common soldiers, the commodore, and sailor before the mast, the fair-skinned Christian, and the dark-skinned savage,
all, in their respective grades and spheres of action, have a certain point in view, which, if they can obtain, they suppose will put them in possession of salvation.
The Latter-day Saint, who is far from the bosom of the Church, whose home is in distant climes, sighs, and earnestly prays each day of his life for the Lord to open his way, that he may mingle with his brethren in Zion, for he supposes that his happiness would then be complete, but in this his expectations will be in a measure vain, for happiness that is real and lasting in its nature cannot be enjoyed by mortals, for it is altogether out of keeping with this transitory state.
If a man's capacity be limited to the things of this world, if he reach no further than he can see with his eyes, feel with his hands, and understand with the ability of the natural man, still he is as earnestly engaged in securing his salvation, as others are, who possess a superior intellect, and are also pursuing the path of salvation, in their estimation, though it result in nothing more than a good name, or the honors of this world. Each, according to his capacity—to the natural organization of the human system, which is liable to be operated upon by the circumstances and influences by which it is surrounded, is as eager to obtain that which he supposes is salvation, as I am to obtain salvation in the Eternal world.
The object of a true salvation, correctly and minutely understood, changes the course of mankind. Persons who are taught by their teachers, friends, and acquaintances, are traditionated, from their youth up, into the belief that there is no God, or intelligent beings, other than those that they see with the natural eye, or naturally comprehend; that there is no hereafter; that at death, all life and intelligence are annihilated. Such persons are as firm in their belief, and
as strenuous in argument, in support of those doctrines, as others are in the belief of the existence of an Eternal God. The early customs and teachings of parents and friends, to a greater or less degree, influence the minds of children, but when they are disposed to inquire at the hands of Him who has eternal intelligence to impart to them, when their understandings are enlarged, when their minds are enlightened by the Spirit of truth, so that they can see things that are unseen by the natural eye, they may then be corrected in their doctrine and belief, and in their manner of life, but not until then.
How difficult it is to teach the natural man, who comprehends nothing more than that which he sees with the natural eye! How hard it is for him to believe! How difficult would be the task to make the philosopher, who, for many years, has argued himself into the belief that his spirit is no more after his body sleeps in the grave, believe that his intelligence came from eternity, and is as eternal, in its nature, as the elements, or as the Gods. Such doctrine by him would be considered vanity and foolishness, it would be entirely beyond his comprehension. It is difficult, indeed, to remove an opinion or belief into which he has argued himself from the mind of the natural man. Talk to him about angels, heavens, God, immortality, and eternal lives, and it is like sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal to his ears; it has no music to him; there is nothing in it that charms his senses, soothes his feelings, attracts his attention, or engages his affections, in the least; to him it is all vanity. To say that the human family are not seeking salvation, is contrary to my experience, and to the experience of every other person with whom I have any acquaintance. They are all for salvation, some in one way, and some in another; but all is darkness and confusion. If the Lord does not speak from heaven, and touch the eyes of their understanding by His Spirit, who can instruct or guide them to good? Who can give them words of eternal life? It is not in the power of man to do it; but when the Lord gives His Spirit to a person, or to a people, they can then hear, believe, and be instructed. An Elder of Israel may preach the principles of the Gospel, from first to last, as they were taught to him, to a congregation ignorant of them; but if he does not do it under the influence of the Spirit of the Lord, he cannot enlighten that congregation on those principles, it is impossible. Job said that, “There is a spirit in man, and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding.” Unless we enjoy that understanding in this probation, we cannot grow or increase, we cannot be made acquainted with the principles of truth and righteousness so as to become exalted. Admit that the Spirit of the Lord should give us understanding, what would it prove to us? It would prove to me, at least, and what I may safely say to this congregation, that Zion is here. Whenever we are disposed to give ourselves perfectly to righteousness, to yield all the powers and faculties of the soul (which is the spirit and the body, and it is there where righteousness dwells); when we are swallowed up in the will of Him who has called us; when we enjoy the peace and the smiles of our Father in Heaven, the things of His Spirit, and all the blessings we are capacitated to receive and improve upon, then are we in Zion, that is Zion. What will produce the opposite? Hearkening and giving way to evil, nothing else will.
If a community of people are perfectly devoted to the cause of righteousness, truth, light, virtue, and every principle and attribute of the holy Gospel, we may say of that people, as the ancient Apostle said to his brethren, “Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates;” there is a throne for the Lord Almighty to sit and reign upon, there is a resting place for the Holy Ghost, there is a habitation of the Father and the Son. We are the temples of God, but when we are overcome of evil by yielding to temptation, we deprive ourselves of the privilege of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, taking up their abode and dwelling with us. We are the people, by our calling and profession, and ought to be by our daily works, of whom it should be truly said, “Ye are the temples of our God.” Let me ask, what is there to prevent any person in this congregation from being so blessed, and becoming a holy temple fit for the indwelling of the Holy Ghost? Has any being in heaven or on earth done aught to prevent you from becoming so blessed? No, but why the people are not so privileged I will leave you to judge. I would to God that every soul who professes to be a Latter-day Saint was of that character, a holy temple for the indwelling of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, but it is not so. Is there any individual within the sound of my voice today, that has received the Holy Ghost through the principles of the Gospel, and at the same time has not received a love for them? I will answer that question. Wait and see who it is that falls out by the way; who it is in whom the seed of truth has been sown, but has not taken root; and then you will know the individuals who have received the truth, but have never received a love of it—they do not love it for itself. What a delightful aspect would this community present if all men and women, old and young, were disposed to leave off their own sins and follies, and overlook those of their neighbors; if they would cease watching their neighbors for iniquity, and watch that they themselves might be free from it! If they were trying with all their powers to sanctify the Lord in their hearts, and would prove, by their actions, that they had received the truth and the love of it! If all individuals would watch themselves, that they do not speak against the Father, the Son, the Holy Ghost, nor in short against any being in heaven or on earth. Strange as this may appear, there have been men in this Church that have done it, and probably will be again! If this people would be careful not to do anything to displease the spirits of those who have lived on the earth, and have been justified, and have gone to rest, and would so conduct themselves, that no reasonable being upon the face of the earth could find fault with them, what kind of society should we have? Why every man's mouth would be filled with blessings, every man's hand would be put forth to do good, and every woman and child in all their intercourse would be praising God, and blessing each other. Would not Zion be here? It would. What hinders you from doing this? What is the Lord or the people doing to cause this one and that one to commit sin with a high hand, in secret and in the open streets?
If Elders of Israel use language which is not proper for the lips of a Saint, such Elders are under condemnation, and the wrath of God abides upon them, those who do it have not the love of truth in their hearts, they do not love and honor the truth because it is the truth, but because it is powerful, and they wish to join with the strongest party. Do they love light because it is light? Virtue because it is virtue? Righteousness because it is righteousness? No. But these principles are almighty in their influence, and like the tornado in the forest, they sweep all before them, no argument can weigh against them, all the philosophy, knowledge, and wisdom of men may be set in array against them, but they are like chaff before a mighty wind, or like the morning dew before the sun in its strength such Elders embrace truth because it is all-powerful. When a man of God preaches the principles of the Gospel, all things give way before it, and some embrace it because it is so mighty. But by and by those characters will fall out by the way, because the soil has not depth to nourish the seeds of truth. They receive it, but not the love of it; it dies, and they turn away. If every person who has embraced the Gospel would love it as he loves his life, would not society wear a different aspect from that of the present?
I do not intend to enter into a detailed account of the acts of the people, they are themselves acquainted with them; people know how they themselves talk, and how their neighbors talk; how husband and wife agree in their own houses, and with their neighbors; and how parents and children dwell together. I need not tell these things, but if every heart were set upon doing right, we then should have Zion here. I will give you my reason for thinking so. It is because I have had it with me ever since I was baptized into this kingdom. I have not been without it from that day to this. I have, therefore, a good reason for the assertion I have made. I live and walk in Zion every day, and so do thousands of others in this Church and kingdom, they carry Zion with them, they have one of their own, and it is increasing, growing, and spreading continually. Suppose it spreads from heart to heart, from neighborhood to neighborhood, from city to city, and from nation to nation, how long would it be before the earth would become revolutionized, and the wheat gathered from among the tares? The wheat and tares, however, must grow together until harvest. I am not, therefore, disposed to separate them yet, for if we pluck up the tares before the harvest, we may destroy some of the good seed, therefore let them grow together, and by and by the harvest will come.
There is another thing, brethren, which I wish you to keep constantly before your minds, that is with regard to your travels in life. You have read, in the Scriptures, that the children of men will be judged according to their works, whether they be good or bad. If a man's days be filled up with good works, he will be rewarded accordingly. On the other hand, if his days be filled up with evil actions, he will receive according to those acts. This proves that we are in a state of exaltation, it proves that we can add to our knowledge, wisdom, and strength, and that we can add power to every attribute that God has given us. When will the people realize that this is the period of time in which they should commence to lay the foundation of their exaltation for time and eternity, that this is the time to conceive, and bring forth from the heart fruit to the honor and glory of God, as Jesus did—grow as he did from the child, become perfect, and be prepared to be raised to salvation? You will find that this probation is the place to increase upon every little we receive, for the Lord gives line upon line to the children of men. When He reveals the plan of salvation, then is the time to fill up our days with good works.
Let us fill up our days with usefulness, do good to each other, and cease from all evil. Let every evil person forsake his wickedness. If he be wicked in his words, or in his dealings, let him forsake those practices, and pursue a course of righteousness. Let every man and woman do this, and peace and joy will be the result.
A few words more upon the subject of the eternal existence of the soul. It is hard for mankind to comprehend that principle. The philosophers of the world will concede that the elements of which you and I are composed are eternal, yet they believe that there was a time when there was no God. They cannot comprehend how it is that God can be eternal. Let me ask this congregation, Can you realize the eternity of your own existence? Can you realize that the intelligence which you receive is eternal? I can comprehend this, just as well as I can that I am now in possession of it. It is as easy for me to comprehend that it will exist eternally, as that anything else will. I wish to impress upon your minds the reality that when the body which is organized for intelligence to dwell in, dies, and returns to its mother earth, all the feelings, sensibilities, faculties, and powers of the spirit are still alive, they never die, but in the absence of the body are more acute. They are organized for an eternal existence. If this congregation could comprehend that the intelligence that is in them is eternal in its nature and existence; if they could realize that when Saints pass through the veil, they are not dead, but have been laying the foundation in these tabernacles for exaltation, laying the foundation to become Gods, even the sons of God, and for crowns which they will yet receive—they would receive the truth in the love of it, live by it, and continue in it, until they receive all knowledge and wisdom, until they grow into eternity, and have the veil taken from before their eyes, to behold the handiworks of God among all people, His goings forth among the nations of the earth, and to discover the rule and law by which He governs. Then could they say of a truth, We acknowledge the hand of God in all things, all is right, Zion is here, in our own possession.
I have thus summed up, in a broken manner, that which I desired to speak. We are not able to comprehend all
things, but we can continue to learn and grow, until all will be perfectly clear to our minds, which is a great privilege to enjoy—the blessing of an eternal increase. And the man or woman who lives worthily is now in a state of salvation.
Now, brethren, love the truth, and put a stop to every species of folly. How many there are who come to me to find fault with, and enter complaints against, their brethren, for some trifling thing, when I can see, in a moment, that they have received no intentional injury! They have no compassion on their brethren, but, having passed their judgment, insist that the criminal shall be punished. And why? Because he does not exactly come up to their standard of right and wrong! They feel to measure him by the “Iron Bedstead principle”—“if you are too long, you must be cut off; if too short, you must be stretched.” Now this is the height of folly. I find that I have enough to do to watch myself. It is as much as I can do to get right, deal right, and act right. If we all should do this, there would be no difficulty, but in every man's mouth would be “May the Lord bless you.” I feel happy, as I always told you. Brother Kimball has known me thirty years, twenty one of which I have been in this Church; others have known me twenty years; and there are some here who knew me in England; I had Zion with me then, and I brought it with me to America again, and I now appeal to every man and woman if I have not had Zion with me from first entering into the Church, to the present time! Light cleaves to light, and truth to truth. May God bless you. Amen.
- Brigham Young

a revealed definition

2009-05-23T15:59:00.001-07:00

repent: intransitive verb

to change one's mind
and dedicate one's self to the achievement
of individual and collective quintessence

!

2009-05-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

Technical analysis does not reveal what a person or a thing can do.

For example:
Water is used effectively to extinguish fire.
That water will put out fire is a fact of everyday experience,
but no analysis of water could ever be made to disclose such a property.
Analysis determines that water is composed of hydrogen and oxygen;
a further study of these elements discloses that
oxygen is the real supporter of combustion and that hydrogen will itself freely burn.

Luna

2009-04-23T15:05:00.000-07:00

"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight,
and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world."

-Oscar Wilde

the wheel in the sky keeps on turnin'

2009-04-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

luck
chance
providence
fate
destiny
identity
conscience
agency
choice
human
cause
effect

muse

2009-04-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

one has been following me around lately

COMPUTER

2009-04-03T18:16:00.000-07:00

CPU:
AMD Athlon 64 X2=== 5800+=== Brisbane ===3.0GHz=== 2 x 512KB ===L2 Cache Socket AM2 89W ===Dual-Core=== Processor
Model
Brand AMD
Processors Type Desktop
Series Athlon 64 X2
Model ADA5800IAA5DO
CPU Socket Type
CPU Socket Type Socket AM2
Tech Spec
Core Brisbane
Multi-Core Dual-Core
Name Athlon 64 X2 5800+
Operating Frequency 3.0GHz
L1 Cache 128KB+128KB
L2 Cache 2 x 512KB
Manufacturing Tech 65 nm
64 bit Support Yes
Multimedia Instruction MMX, SSE, SSE2, SSE3, 3DNOW! Professional
Thermal Power 89W

RAM:
Brand Crucial
Series Ballistix
Model BL2KIT25664AA80A
Type 240-Pin DDR2 SDRAM
Tech Spec
Capacity ===4GB=== (2 x 2GB)
Speed DDR2 800 (PC2 6400)

HDDS:
2X 650 GB HDDS = 1.2TB
Model
Brand Seagate
Model ST3640323AS
Performance
Interface SATA 3.0Gb/s
Capacity 640GB
RPM 7200 RPM
Cache 32MB
Physical Spec
Form Factor 3.5"

ASUS M4N72-E motherboard
SPECS FOR CPU
AMD Socket AM2+ / AM2 Phenom™ X4/Phenom™ X3/Athlon™ /Athlon™ X2/Sempron™ Processors
AMD 140W CPU Support
AMD Cool 'n' Quiet™ Technology
Support AM3 Phenom™ II / Athlon™ X4 / Athlon™ X3 / Athlon™ X2 Processors
Support 45nm Phenom™ II CPU
Chipset

NVIDIA nForce 750a SLI
System Bus

Up to 5200 MT/s HyperTransport™ 3.0 interface for AM3/AM2+ CPU
2000 / 1600 MT/s for AM2 CPU
Memory

4 x DIMM, Max. 16 GB, DDR2 1200(O.C.)/1066*/800/667 ECC,Non-ECC,Un-buffered Memory
Dual Channel memory architecture
*Due to AMD CPU limitation, DDR2 1066 is supported by AM3/AM2+ CPU for one DIMM per channel only.

Expansion Slots

2 x PCIe 2.0 x16 (Single x16 or Dual x8)
2 x PCIe x1
2 x PCI 2.2
Multi-GPU Support

Support NVIDIA® SLI™ Technology at x8 link
Storage

NVIDIA nForce 750a SLI chipset
- 1 x Ultra DMA 133 / 100
- 6 x SATA 3Gb/s ports (Legacy IDE operation is only supported on drives 1–4.)
- NVIDIA® MediaShield™ RAID supports RAID 0, 1, 0+1, 5, and JBOD
LAN

Realtek 8211CL Gigabit/10 LAN controller featuring AI NET 2
Audio

VIA1708S 8 -Channel High Definition Audio CODEC
- Supports Jack-Detection, Multi-Streaming, and Front Panel Jack-Retasking
- Optical S/PDIF Out ports at back I/O
- ASUS Noise Filtering
IEEE 1394

VIA VT6315N controller supports 2 x 1394a ports
USB

12 USB 2.0 ports (6 ports at mid-board, 6 ports at back panel)
ASUS Unique Features

ASUS Power Saving Solutions:
- 8+1 Phase Power Design
- ASUS Anti-Surge Protection
ASUS Green Design:
- EPU
*ASUS EPU is supported by AM3/AM2+ CPU only
- ASUS AI Nap
Express Gate
ASUS Quiet Thermal Solution:
- ASUS Fanless Design:stylish heatsink solution
- ASUS Q-Fan2
ASUS EZ DIY:
- ASUS Q-Connector
- ASUS CrashFree BIOS 2
- ASUS O.C. Profile
- ASUS EZ Flash 2
Overclocking Features

Intelligent overclocking tools
- AI Overclocking (intelligent CPU frequency tuner)
-TurboV
-Turbo Key
SFS (Stepless Frequency Selection)
- FSB tuning from 200MHz up to 600MHz at 1MHz increment
- Memory tuning from 533MHz up to 1066MHz
Overclocking Protection
- ASUS C.P.R.(CPU Parameter Recall)
Special Features

100% All High-quality Conductive Polymer Capacitors! (5000hrs VRM, over 57 years operation lifespan at 65∘C)
ASUS MyLogo 2
Back Panel I/O Ports

1 x PS/2 Keyboard
1 x PS/2 Mouse
1 x S/PDIF Out (Optical)
1 x IEEE 1394a
1 x LAN(RJ45) port
6 x USB 2.0/1.1
8 -Channel Audio I/O
Internal I/O Connectors

3 x USB connectors (6 ports)
1 x Floppy disk drive connector
1 x IDE connector
6 x SATA connectors
1 x IEEE 1394a connector
1 x CPU Fan connector
1 x Chassis Fan connector
1 x Power Fan connector
1 x S/PDIF Out connector
Front panel audio connector
Chassis Intrusion connector
1 x COM connector
CD audio in
24-pin ATX Power connector
4-pin ATX 12V Power connector
System Panel (Q-Connector)
BIOS

8 Mb Flash ROM
AMI BIOS, PnP, DMI2.0, WfM2.0, SM BIOS 2.5, ACPI 2.0, ASUS EZ Flash 2, CrashFree BIOS 2
Accessories

User's manual
1 x UltraDMA 133/100/66 cable
4 x SATA cable
I/O Shield
Support Disc

Drivers
ASUS PC Probe II
Express Gate
ASUS AI Suite
Anti-virus software (OEM version)
ASUS Update
Form Factor

ATX Form Factor
12 inch x 9.6 inch ( 30.5 cm x 24.4 cm )

i'm a pc

2009-02-11T07:51:00.000-08:00

http://www.microsoft.com/windows/rookies/kylie4/

=shakes fist=

Solargraph

2009-02-06T08:56:00.000-08:00

The six month long exposure compresses the time from December 17, 2007 to June 21, 2008 into a single point of view.

triangle

2009-01-25T18:39:00.001-08:00

we live like penguins in the desert
why can't we live like tribes?

The Curse of Monkey Island

2009-01-01T08:28:00.001-08:00

In keeping with the spirit of this game that I loved to play so much when I was younger, I went and 'pirated' a copy. This has to be one of the greatest games ever created. If you like logic puzzles and a good laugh, find yourself playing this game, because I bet you'll love it. It was published in the mid 90s so it's not the best rendering in the world, but hey, it sure is well written.

Marriage, and why

2008-12-09T19:35:00.000-08:00

In light of all the nonsense that has followed this voting year,
I leave you with this thought.

Marriage is the mother of all human institutions,
for it leads directly to home founding and home maintenance,
which is the structural basis of society.
The family is vitally linked to the mechanism of self-maintenance;
it is the sole hope of race perpetuation under the mores of civilization,
while at the same time it most effectively provides certain highly satisfactory forms of self-gratification.
The family is man's greatest purely human achievement,
combining as it does the evolution of the biologic relations of male and female
with the social relations of husband and wife.

Thankful... for my job.

2008-11-26T20:06:00.000-08:00

I never thought I would ever say this.

I am thankful for my job.
In fact, I love my job. I love my employer.
Great company. They love me and I feel it.
Taking care of the needs of my family.
Paying me. Keeping me growing and moving.

Oh yeah, and they make sweet stuff like this.

That's right, I work for 2Wire.

Meet Betty

2008-11-19T18:36:00.000-08:00

This is Betty. She is the newest member of our family.

She is a Remington 870.

People

2008-11-03T12:46:00.000-08:00

People bother me. I am an introvert. I dislike judgmental people. In a big city, a lot of them can be found.
However I am still human. I like to have friends, and there are few. I like to have fun. So busy all the time.

Sleep, eat, work, drive, repeat.

I am in pain. All kinds of pain.
Please give us something new.

Sure

2008-10-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

Of course during my short lapse of insurance-free living I get sick.

Early Vote

2008-10-15T09:44:00.000-07:00

I voted yesterday.

For President, I wrote in Ron Paul.
McCain wins Arizona anyways, so why bother voting for him?
He's just another liberal.

For U.S Representative, I voted for Jeff Flake.
Best Rep in the House next to Dr. Paul.

Voted YES ON 102. I LIKE THE FIRST AMENDMENT.

Voted for some Libertarians,
and voted to remove all district court judges.

I feel good.

toys

2008-09-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

Alexis has been trying to talk me into buying some guitar stuff lately.
Of course I caved. Honest, I was pretty reluctant about it, but of course she talked some sense into me.

Gibson SG Special. I love this guitar.

Boss Compression Sustainer
MXR Phase 90
Boss Tremolo
Boss Digital Delay DD-3
Very spacey.

Marshall JCM2000 60W TSL602 combo with 2 12" Celestron speakers.
Beautiful Reverb, and an FX loop to boot.
Screaming tubes.

I'm so spoiled.

You Can Always Dream

2008-09-04T22:14:00.000-07:00

Friendship

2008-08-24T18:14:00.000-07:00

Until recently, since I moved to Mesa I didn't really have any friends. I see Lexie's brothers every once in a while, and we have some good time. However I didn't really find anyone of good report that I could chum with. Lately we've been hanging out with a lot of Lex's friends, and it definitely has been great to feel new friendships growing. She has a lot of friends who love her and they are just some of the coolest people I've met. Before we got married my beautiful wife sent me an article that talked about the husband's rights in the marriage. It read that I can reserve the right to not like her friend's husbands. With stout heart and confidence I can gladly say that I do not have to exercise that right. Each significant other of Lex's friends are all great guys and it's fun getting to know them. I know this is all sentimental and noise however I've been quite devoid of fraternal friendship as of late. I'm just glad that we've been blessed with friends that we can interact with together and have a great time. On another note, some old friends from Utah came to visit last night, it was so good to see them and that they're still good guys. To be frank I wish they could stick around. It's funny that even with how much life changes the good parts of people stay the same if they choose to keep them around.

Relief

2008-08-18T12:35:00.000-07:00

Lately I have just been so busy living life and being at work that I really haven't had the time to sit down and even think about writing. This year has truly been much different from the rest in too many ways to count. Work has been great, there is always work to be done and always hours to give. Things have been going well and I have been progressing quickly, which is great. It is finally good to be someplace where your hard work does not go unnoticed.

I have been reading a lot lately, I just bought a couple spiritual books to read, so my nose has been stuck in those for the past weeks. Church has been fun, Lex and I are making a lot of friends in the ward and starting next week will be serving in the Primary... good thing it is a companion calling nowadays. Lexi thinks I'm good with kids but I'd have to disagree. We had been talking about callings and joked that we'd get stuck in the Primary where I would have felt the least comfortable. How ironic.

Weekends away from work can get somewhat lonely for us because I have Sundays and Mondays off, opposed from wifey's Saturday. Either wayn we love being together as much as we can. We visited Uncle Bill and Aunt Pam + Fam a couple times for birthday parties, and it was great to see as many people in the family as were there. It's really nice being closer to them.

I downloaded Super Metroid to my Wii and needless to say, SNES is my achilles heel. It is awesome to play on a fast system, very smooth. No reboots. Of course Mariokart is in the close second. Tonight Lex and I are going to go see the new Clone Wars movie, and it best be good.

I'll be back to writing more often, now that I've destressed over the past month.

life and the likes

2008-07-18T18:23:00.000-07:00

Soooooooooyeah I've pretty much been wrapped up in married life.
Lex, home, drive, work,
church, temple,
movies, music, food, wii,
bathing, and sleep. repeat.

That has been my life over the past two weeks.

Alexis, how should I begin. I absolutely positively LOVE this woman. She's a very capable, intelligent, and open person. Our being is united in more ways than I can write. Ink or keystrokes are not worthy or even capable of describing it.

Our apartment. Pretty much the sweetest place ever. It truly is our sanctuary. We read, eat, sleep, and learn there. We love it, as a family should love their home. Couldn't be happier. Lately our newest additions are this 32" LCD TV and Nintendo Wii. Yes, they are toys, fun fun toys. Lately we've been watching good movies and I've been playing Super Mario Galaxy like a good gamer should.

The fridge and cabinets are always full of good things to eat and drink. I told Lex that I love her because we both want the same stuff in our fridge: good stuff. Lots of fruits and veggies, juices, good breads, pasta, rice, chicken, and other great grubs. Living in harmony.

We are also getting a good start on our library, however it is still in its embryonic stages. Our bedroom is way relaxing, it's totally feng shui.
Yeah, I would.

I am a certified geek.
Yes, I actually do like my job, partly because now people actually want to interact with me for a reason, I know stuff they don't, and they need to know it. Awesome.
My work=good because I can do it for long periods of time without going crazy.
It is IT related, with lots of room for growth.
and hey the pay is great. sure beats slave waging in a kitchen.

We've been going to the temple often, and our experiences have always been positive.
We always seem to see someone we know, the other night we walked straight into Alexis' old single ward temple night! It truly was a beautiful visit, we feel the Spirit so much when we go.

PS:I had a beard going for a while, but of course I got sick of it and shaved.

Until Next Time....

Information

2008-06-30T17:18:00.000-07:00

GREETINGS.

Much has happened since my last post.
Alexis and I are now married, and enjoying our new lifestyle. We had lots of fun together on our honeymoon, and are looking to plan our first vacation as newlyweds.
We hope to get away a little more than we had a chance to this past week, as time will permit. We LOVE our new home, and most of all, love being there together. There is definitely a peaceful vibe, which is something we both need. If only I were as diligent as Lex is in keeping tidy :P ... I started work this week, so I've been reading out of my 400 page training manual during class, and it has been pretty interesting so far. I'm really excited to finally have a chance to let my geeky side shine some. I'm sure it's the part of me that God blessed me with in order to provide for my family, so yeah I'm feeling pretty relieved. My car however has another bad strut mount, and I just haven't found the time or parts to fix it or take it in. GRRRRRRR. Sharing a vehicle has been great on the pockets but somewhat of an inconvenience for the both of us. Either way my beautiful wife loves me enough to take me to work for now. We're slowly but certainly making our way back into every-day life mode and it's good times and good work from here on out.

PS

I'm now a registered Libertarian. Take that two-party puppets.

revealing

2008-06-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

Man never achieves discovery if he never reaches into the unknown.

the ego

2008-06-17T08:12:00.000-07:00

I wrote this blog last year and wanted to move it here, for conservation of the idea.
I have edited it slightly for more clarity.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

"It's a common trait of primates to become submissive and even worshipful toward one who has the power to kill them." -Orson Scott Card, as quoted by the character Bean in Shadow of the Hegemon.

The human body is imperfect. We age, disease, break, bleed, decay, and die. It alone is naturally driven through this vicious cycle of consumption and destruction. Yet, there is another thought on the matter. The totality of the human being is more than just a body. We have minds, something more than a physical, tangible reality. We also have a personal, eternal spirit. When you become submissive to only the physical part of your mind, THE EGO, a more difficult, destructive end do you pursue. Your physical body alone has the inherent power to kill you. This is a fact of science. Yet if you do not feed the physical body, you will die as well. So if you allow the collective or the unconscious mind to over take your awareness, you will be overwhelmed, you will wither and die. Survival of the fittest applies. Therefore a balance must be pursued.
A balance between self and other. "Love thy neighbour as thyself."

I stole back the lawn, and look, we have a lawn now.

2008-06-12T19:58:00.001-07:00

I spent all day helping my father-in-law put sod in his front and back yards, for the wedding and [hopefully] for the rest of the summer! WOW I am tired but it was so rewarding!

Hundred-acre Wood

2008-06-11T09:47:00.001-07:00

If there ever comes a day
when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart,
I'll stay there forever.

Change?

2008-06-04T09:31:00.001-07:00

Change is a word that has been sailing through the wind for some time. I am positive that a majority of Americans want change to happen. I know I would like positive change to occur in America. Now we know that Barack Obama will be the Democrat running for President. Now I know all you liberals are jumping up and down at the prospect of putting this guy in the White House, but let's get serious about this. I admit that Barack Obama is a great politician, else he would not be where he is right now. He is a talented orator. He knows how to speak to people's emotions. But feelings are not the only way to understand and make decisions. We also have our thoughts.

For example: Emotions are a result of chemical reactions within your biological systems, primarily your endocrine and nervous systems. They are at their base, carnal, and physical. Thoughts, however are electric impulses, they are energy, matter refined, if you will. We can have spiritual thoughts and feelings, as well as animalistic, instinctive thoughts and feelings. Through experience however I have learned that we can control both, and that the uncontrolled, reactionary emotions and thoughts that are triggered by such chemical reactions are animalistic when not bridled by logic. Sound logic requires both scientific fact and spiritual truth harmonized into a philosophy of living.

Barack Obama speaks to your reactionary emotions, he wants to arouse how you FEEL about issues. Never mind your thoughts or logic on them, how do you FEEL about them? With feeling overtaking logical thought, we are not wholly applying facts or truth into our judgment and thus we are not living according to objective reality but by our subjective animalistic emotions. When this happens, said logic begins to become something entirely different, we will term it delusion. There must be balance. I would like to make that point very clear. Barack Obama claims to make changes, and on the surface the things he wants to accomplish, (and I assure you, he will not accomplish all of them) seem and feel like they are very good things for the people of our country. I cannot disagree that it would be a good thing if all American people were provided healthcare, without compromising their true liberty. I cannot disagree that it would be a good thing if all American people could obtain a college education. That would be better for our country and economy. But how exactly will Obama make these changes? By making you pay for it by forced tax, through legislations and executive orders. You can even read his economic policy. From hearing many of Obama's speeches and reading his voting record in the Senate - which is not something to be happy about if you care at all about the progression and prolonging of humanity, and the preservation of true liberty and freedom -
I gather that he is a very able, calculating, articulate man. He knows exactly what to say to you to get your vote. Whether or not he is honest is another story. I mean, get real, HE IS A POLITICIAN. He does not tell you HOW he will make these changes because he KNOWS that his methods will make the unthinking voter FEEL unhappy and turn a majority of those supportive independent and moderate voters into dissidents toward his approach. He knows this because he knows that his policies are old socialist approaches to new problems. He is very subversive in his methods of delivery. He will not give details about his policies, he just says what needs to be done. WE ALL KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. He only gives you his opinion on the matter, and not a real solution. He gives you the viewpoints of "new" socialism.

And let's not mention his stances on the "abortion" issue.
No, I am not pro-life or pro-choice. I disagree with that mentality.
When ob/gyn doctors say it is a scientific fact that life begins at conception,
I am pro-commonsense.
I won't even get into my spiritual viewpoints on the matter.
Trust me, I have them.

I do not want to force any choices or views on anyone,
that is never my goal.
I will share them. You can choose what ever you want.
But please THINK about WHY you are voting.
If not about why,

PLEASE JUST THINK

Angel

2008-06-03T10:57:00.000-07:00

I've got an angel,
She doesn't wear any wings.
She wears a heart that can melt my own,
she wears a smile that can make me wanna sing.
She gives me presents with her presence alone.
She gives me everything I could wish for,
she gives me kisses on the lips just for coming home.
She can make angels,
I've seen it with my own eyes.
You gotta be careful when you've got good love,
'cause the angels will just keep on multiplying.
But you're so busy changing the world,
just one smile and you can change all of mine...
We share the same soul, Oh oh oh ohhh
We share the same soul, Oh oh oh ohhh
We share the same soul, Oh oh oh ohhh
Oh oh oh ohhh
Mmm mmm mmm mhhhhhhmm

101

2008-06-03T10:11:00.000-07:00

29
And there shall be no sorrow because there is no death.

30
In that day an infant shall not die until he is old;
and his life shall be as the age of a tree;

31
And when he dies he shall not sleep, that is to say in the earth,
but shall be changed in the twinkling of an eye,
and shall be caught up, and his rest shall be glorious.

Victory!

2008-06-02T14:27:00.000-07:00

Plant good seeds, and they will grow.

Job Hunting

2008-05-30T15:05:00.000-07:00

fig. a

So since I've moved to Mesa, my full-time job has been to find a full-time job. The feeling of the hunt could have been likened to Figure A, until today! I am feeling very positive about my current situation, and couldn't be happier. It is almost as if a job that is tailored to my needs and abilities fell right into my lap. I am really excited because it is with a very well established company with lots of growth left to do, and plenty of work to go around. Amazingly enough, I have an interview on Monday. This one is different though, I've already passed the screening test so they know I'm a good hire. Best part is I will be working for a company that builds dsl routers, satellite boxes, etc. and if I land this job (please, oh, please) I will be working as Networking Technical Support. Sweet. Foot in the door, please let this be my foot in the door of the wide world of IT.

Analysis

2008-05-22T12:42:00.001-07:00

Respectful Experiencer

You are a Respectful Experiencer

Your inquisitive nature, imagination, and hands-on practicality make you an EXPERIENCER.

Although you have an active imagination, you also concern yourself with the functional elements of things.

You are willing to experiment to find things that work the most efficiently.

Getting stuck in certain habits is boring to you—you'd rather find new experiences.

Accordingly, experiences are more important to you than objects.

You like to contemplate a lot of options before making a decision, and you're willing and able to consider a lot of different angles to problems.

You're open to suggestions, and often rely on others to assess the merit of those suggestions.

You have an ability to see the big picture—not just how things are, but how they could be—in a variety of situations.

You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.

Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

Your reserved nature, understanding of the world, and faith in others make you RESPECTFUL.

You trust those around you to do the right thing, so you tend not to get involved in other people's affairs.

You have fewer friendships than some, but the relationships you do have are very meaningful and important to you.

Your careful and practical observation of your environment has led you to understand that others' situations can be very complex.

Because of this, you are slow to pass judgments on others, even if sometimes you can't see what it is about certain things that upsets them.

You tend to enjoy the world through ideas and reflection, which allows you to get a lot out of the time you spend alone.

Your friends would describe you as laid-back and easy-going.

As someone who is calm and centered, you aren't likely to rush into things—this patience allows you to see many different perspectives and options.

10 Things I Hate About You

2008-05-20T09:27:00.000-07:00

Terrible movie.
Great concept.

Dear Camry,
Here are ten things I absolutely HATE about you.

1. Your gas mileage. It is terrible. It is so bad, some days it is 15 mpg and sometimes it is 20. Who knows. A/C cuts those numbers in half. With gas prices where they are, I WANT TO KNOW.
2. Your transmission. It is dirty. It is jumpy. It slips. It leaks. Unacceptable.
3. Your seatbelts. Automatics were so 20 years ago.
4. Your horn, or should I say the lack thereof.
5. Your one headlight. I think I've said enough.
6. You leak so much I don't even know what you are leaking sometimes, and I'm a smart guy.
7. Your axles. They've always been junk. Speaking of leaks.
8. Your brakes. They are old and wobbly.
9. Your trip odometer. Anywhere I go I've only traveled 99 miles.
10. Your unreliability. I know that you only work as well as I can fix, but I'm a sore pauper and every time I absolutely need you to work, you decide to quit. I can't afford your sorry tailpipe anymore and frankly want to junk you. You've helped me earn a decent part-time living for a while however you've also been giving me a major headache and/or amplifying the one I already had, and I've had it. You make me want to reconsider my philosophy on acquiring debt, and get a big loan for a reliable vehicle. That is a major bad sign. This list could go on and on about how big of a LEMON you are, but I'll keep it at ten for your benefit.

So here are your competitors.

2008 Toyota Corolla
26 mpg city 35 hwy
$15,240

2008 Toyota Matrix
25 mpg city 31 hwy
$16,220

2008 Toyota Prius
48 mpg city 45 hwy
THE MILEAGE IS RIDICULOUS
and you pay for it
$21,420

2008 Nissan Versa SL
27 mpg city 33 hwy
$16,400

I would most like to have the Corolla or Versa,
but only in my dreams.

Camry, you are a nightmare.

Weaponized Sunshine and Rainbows

2008-05-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

First things first, I am smiling. I am breathing easier. The past 24 hours have been full of introspection and reflection. If you stay in the wrong place for too long eventually you'll grow out of it. It is one of those laws that have been put in place. For example, if you are not living up to your full potential, or selling yourself short of what you are capable of accomplishing, well, eventually, you will outgrow where you are. "Overqualification" is the proper professional term, I believe. We only really learn from experience. So yesterday I learned that I should be more confident in my abilities to accomplish difficult tasks. I learned that the Lord has much greater things in store for my life than I can imagine. Over the course of the past 6 months I have been learning this perpetual lesson that patience is a virtue, and a precious one at that. The pathway towards self-mastery is worked out with sweat, tears, sorrows, and joys. Yesterday I felt like that happy nuke again. You guessed it, I was at work when it happened. This time was a little different. I actually quit my job. There, I said it. When an honest wage and gas reimbursement is too much to ask for at work, that's where I drew the line. I guess 70 cents (that was justly due and earned) was too much for management to pay out of an already overburdened labor budget for the most productive delivery employee. It wasn't the money; it was the sole fact that it was even an issue. With the price of gasoline at $3.50 a gallon it shouldn't have even been a problem. At 20 miles to the gallon, I was paying THEM to do my job. So I told my manager what's up. That woman has no business having any influence over anyone's income. Period. It felt great to be able to speak my mind about so many things that had been driving me crazy about that place and the way it is managed without having to worry about the repercussions of termination. Northward I go.

There's No Place Like Home

2008-05-12T22:05:00.000-07:00

"If I only had a brain..."

So we found our new apartment!
It's way too much fun getting wedding stuff finished.
On to June 21st already!

Divergence

2008-05-12T14:08:00.000-07:00

agen·cy

\ˈā-jən(t)-sē\

Function: noun

the capacity, condition, or state of acting or of exerting power

The move away from Tucson towards Mesa has begun...

WHAT A RELIEF!

Bottle

2008-05-07T13:39:00.000-07:00

More often then not when I am at work I am presented with perfect opportunities to practice compassion, understanding, patience, and self control. This is due to the fact that I work with some prideful, self-serving, hypocritical, and dishonest people. There are only a small choice few that are actually good people in action.
For example, this photograph should explain my feelings during work today:

Today was one of those days where I felt such a strong urge to just say what was on my mind,(and I should assure you that my thoughts were comprised of sharp, truthful, and most likely painful rebukes,) yet I feel as though I accomplished something important by holding my tongue and leaving work like a civilized employee. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only ethical one there. It really is something else when dishonesty, tardiness, absence, and laziness are rewarded by your "superiors" and hard work is quite under appreciated. Frankly, at my job if you are a hard worker, well, you are taken for granted. Hence my UTTER FRUSTRATION. I am truly grateful for Alexis for a billion reasons, most importantly for being who she is, second that I am graced with the privilege of becoming her husband. Although, I do have an auxiliary reason why I am grateful for her. Because she lives so far away from this town. I know, I know, I sound crazy because we all know how difficult long distance relationships can be. Ours is not long distance. It quite soon will be a marriage, and that means I AM LEAVING TUCSON, and I couldn't be happier about it. I don't have to feel stuck in this lousy dead end job. For the first time I can QUIT a job and feel great about it. I am grateful for so many things, most of all I am grateful for the peace that the Love of God brings to my life, especially when I am with Lex or at the temple, or best of all BOTH. Someone once said, "Repugnant is the creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of its fleeting time here." I am so TIRED of the worldly mindset of others, I hope people will learn a better path in the Lord's time. As for me, I'm so inexplicably grateful I have the chance to ascend to higher spheres and find refuge from the world.

This is One

2008-05-06T16:34:00.001-07:00

of the MANY reasons why I love Glenn Beck:

"You've never driven in New York City in an SUV until you've had somebody, I'm not kidding you, pound on your hood, "You don't need a car this big." I rolled down the windows. "Yes, I do. I've got dead bodies of liberals in the back. I need them as big as they come. Want to see it?"

In the Universe City

2008-05-06T01:27:00.000-07:00

Moving,
it is something I have done quite a bit of over the past few years. Of course we're all moving every single day, but me, it seems as though I'm always changing my location of residence. I am ready to settle down into a home and make it our own. Hopefully we are almost finished. It is a wonder to me that whenever I take the first steps forward through the dark, God opens up the light and shows a path that is not exactly what I wanted at the time but is exactly what I need, and always turns up being what I wanted in the end, and it is always comforting and fulfilling. I will always want my needs to be met, it is the human part of me that strives to survive. One of my deepest needs is to help others meet their needs. Without each other, we are alone and will never make it. Aligning to God's will is truly experiential and progressive. My life has been in this cocoon of metamorphosis over the past year and frankly I'm ready to let my wings out to dry. It's funny how foreshadowed life can be. All of the reasons are given to you but you can never really see how they fit together until everything is in place, then it all makes sense. I am sure that is how God teaches me lessons, and all in all it is a lifelong lesson on how to be patient and let things work. When it's all said and done, I can hear Him say, "I've been telling you all along." I never enjoy the feeling when I am out of control of my life's circumstances. That never goes without saying that I wouldn't ever try or even want to control others' lives. I'm sure that the concept of agency explains my perspective. Yet I can't help but feel tied up inside when I'm not completely free to act; when I am restricted by circumstance. I think it is just part of my life's lesson. I've got to be patient and stay focused. I've got to work through it and eventually it will pass, just a phase.

Late-night Prowler

2008-05-02T07:14:00.000-07:00

Thursday is movie night for this house and friends. Every other Thursday or so the crew catches a late cinema. Last night I chose to stay home and sleep. I went to bed as usual, yet after sleeping for what seemed like hours on end I awoke to my roommate screaming "HOLY CRAP!" followed by a very loud crash. I went from deep sleep to full adrenaline (not fun) thinking they came home to someone in our house, SRSLY.

In our neighborhood there is this huge grey tomcat that wanders around, I think he's pretty awesome anyway. Apparently he thinks we're pretty awesome too because he was UPSTAIRS in our house when my roommates got home. We leave the doors open sometimes because it gets so hot in our house during the day, and of course I left the back door open. The crash I heard was this cat bolting down the stairs and smashing into our front door, then darting out the back. Mind you this guy is pretty big, even for a tomcat. Made for a good laugh and a very vivid memory of my last few weeks as a bachelor.

In The Rough

2008-04-30T17:04:00.000-07:00

"See how the masses of man worry themselves into nameless graves,
while here and there a great, unselfish soul forgets himself into immortality."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ivory Shoulder

2008-04-28T21:30:00.000-07:00

cut up
boiled
rebuilt
restored with a new ivory shoulder
so i can sail in the sky

Alpha-wave Intrusion

2008-04-24T16:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wish I could put life on pause and sleep for a week.

All Things Done In Order

2008-04-15T14:27:00.000-07:00

D&C 107: 84
Thus, none shall be exempted from the justice and the laws of God,
that all things may be done in order and in solemnity before him,
according to truth and righteousness.

It is a common trait among humans to become frustrated over things that are out of their control. We have all done it at one point in our lives, whether young or old. It is a part of growing, changing, living. What most of us fail to understand is that the will of the individual is not immediately all-powerful. This must be the reason why most human institutions save a very choice few struggle for control, and inevitably dissolve. They are not perfect, just as the people who constitute them are not perfect. We are all woven into the tapestry of creation, and along with every other person in our world we are each one individual agent amongst billions of others. Without the blessing of the very Father who created all things, who are we to exercise or claim dominion over the lives of others? If He who knows all grants the gift of free will and agency to His children, who are we to presume control over them? It is self-evident that the agency of man is part of God's plan. When an institution truly inspired and created by God is established through men who love and worship Him to a near-perfect degree and follow the true gospel of Christ, that institution will become more perfect, it will grow and evolve until the application of Christ's gospel to humankind has become perfected, in order to sanctify man. Only then has it transcended its human elements and become a divine order. Many churches today claim upon themselves the name of Christ, but they teach imperfect human interpretations and adaptations of his divine gospel, not the true teachings in their fullness and purity. The church that teaches Christ's true and radiant gospel restored through revelation is only the riverbed in which the living water of life that is humanity can roll to purity and flow freely towards complete and perfect union with God by living this wonderful gospel. God is perfect, thus is his divine order a perfect pattern. Through His divine method any individual can come to learn and understand with more clarity as their lives progress the very foundation of their creation and spiritual nature. We are Children of God with free minds gifted with agency. We have the capacity to recognize holy patterns when we see them, we just have to look closely.

Journey

2008-04-09T16:46:00.000-07:00

Living Tree

2008-04-07T08:27:00.000-07:00

When you grow a tree, it takes time to reach the sky.
Some trees live longer than people,
to cultivate one takes patience.
If you neglect the tree it will slowly wither and die.
Yet if great care is taken and the tree is nurtured,
it could grow up to the expanses of space.
If this is the case, the tree can become holy,
and its fruit truly white.

Fridays

2008-04-04T08:23:00.001-07:00

Today I woke up, and was ready to set out to see my one and only.
Also wanted to watch conference.
Come on work day, end hastily.

Welling

2008-04-01T08:27:00.000-07:00

Changes, changing.
Such intense frequency,
yet so seemingly random.
There must be a purpose to this.
The times when it seems all too much to bear,
then is when the showers of light come.
Loving, understanding,
soothing my soul with healing winds and rain.
When you wrap your wings around me,
I forget about myself
and remember who we've always been.

Starlit Pathways

2008-03-27T18:56:00.000-07:00

Here is where a journey was embarked upon. It is funny how life will twist and turn and stretch and mold us into people we never thought we had inside of us. One choice can make all the difference in which direction you travel on your path. In order to remember that we are not alone on this earth we must forget ourselves. The example you set through your actions is a living mirror for others to reflect their own lives upon. If only we will love others, they will see more of the light in its natural state. There really is a light on inside of us. We are the lanterns housing the flame. Even with all our flaws and tarnish, the traveler can wipe clean the glass. If only we will love, the light will shine out bright and clear.

You never know whose life you may help change for the better.

Mouse in the House

2008-03-25T07:46:00.000-07:00

If a man can write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better mouse-trap, than his neighbor, though he build his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I found this little guy in my bathroom this morning.
I must be forgetting something...

the crow

2008-03-24T08:09:00.000-07:00

The Crow

Crow - council, intuitive knowledge of universal sacred law, assertiveness. Crow is one of a few life totems, once you have it - it travels with you for life, often in the presence of other totems.

The Crow is a creature that has elicited much thought and speculation amongst all indigenous peoples and across many cultures and times.

To some, Crow is a harbinger of "evil" or portender of physical death, to others, he is one who offers the choice to fly free of the chains of the past and to soar toward self knowing, yet all seem to agree, that this Animal Totem possesses a powerful energy (Medicine) contained within his small frame.

***One who has the honor of having Crow fly by his/her side, is an individual who has the Role of carrying souls lost in pain, denial, bitterness or ill intent, into the light of forgiveness and self-awareness.

When we are reeling in the darkness of emotional pain and turmoil, confused by denying that which we don`t want to see, or feeling bitter over the actions of those who have hurt us, betrayed us or rejected us in the "past," we have become lost on our Path. It is the Role of one who has Crow as their Power Totem, to then find those lost souls and call to them to make the journey into the light of awareness, and eventually, sincere forgiveness.

For one who does not have Crow as their Power Totem (yet has lost the sense of their Life Path), it is Crow that they would call upon to carry them to re-align with their Path once more, as she is the Totem whose vision sees through the darkest of Nights to find the way back home.

Yet in order that one with Crow Totem can carry others into the Light, he/she must first find their own way free of the shadows of the past. This can be an arduous task, yet is essential to fulfilling their Role as Carrier of Lost Souls into Light, for how can they fulfill a task that they have not yet completed for themselves?

To assist them in this process, Crow Souls have been blessed with the ability of keen perception, to see right to the core of their own Self. This is reflected in Nature as the Crow is considered to be the most intelligent and perceptive of all Winged Ones, and she is renowned for her abilities in cognizant thought and strategy.

Whether turned within to gain understanding of herSelf, or reflected back as a mirror to Others so that they may know themSelves, this is a beautiful gift bestowed upon a deserving Soul.***

Crow is the keeper of sacred law and knows the mystery.
She teaches us that there are not one two or three worlds but many.
Here are the Lessons of the Crow
The laws of Sacredness
To balance our need for partnership with other areas of our life
To be at peace with our own company as well as within a group
Psychic protection
To value ourselves giving ourselves the best
The joy in exploration

Crows are the keepers of the Sacred Law
and to have a Crow totem is very powerful.

Personal Integrity are your watchwords and your guide in Life.
If you have a Crow totem, your prime path
is to be mindful of your opinions and actions.
You must be willing to walk your talk,
to speak your truth and to know your life's mission.

Crow is a omen of Change.
Crow lives in the void and has no sense of time,
therefore, it sees past, present and future simultaneously.
Crow merges both light and dark, both inner and outer.
It is the totem of the Great Spirit and must be respected as such.

They are symbols of creation and spiritual strength.
Look for opportunities to create and manifest the magic of life.
Crows are messengers calling to us
about the creation that is alive in the world today
and available to us.

true story

2008-03-24T01:00:00.000-07:00

weekends are my favorite time,
i never thought i'd ever say this again,
but i wish it were saturday every day.

2008-03-23T00:08:00.001-07:00

I can't help but reflect on the past 72 hours and think,

God loves you,

yes you, reading this,

whoever you are.

car trouble

2008-03-12T16:52:00.000-07:00

today i was working.
true story.
while i was working, one of my radiator hoses sprung a leak.
so i stopped working.
lucky me.
i fixed that noise.
i'm no chump.

1991 toyota camry v6 for sale.

thank you.

La Playa

2008-03-10T13:30:00.000-07:00

This weekend Alexis and I went to Puerto Penasco, Sonora MX to take our engagement photos, with her brothers and their girls. First off I must say that it was quite the spiritual experience being there with Lexie. It was our first real road trip together and it was phenomenal. I am so grateful for this brilliant woman, this wonderful Daughter of God. It is always healing to be with her, and is even moreso when we are together on a beach overlooking vivid blue water. I never could have even asked for it, the peace we find together. I love her mind, and her thoughts and feelings. She is so pure and clear, and I am so thankful each day for her, if only words could express it. Alexis, she knows my heart and knows my mind, just by being who she is. Love is what we have found. She brings me true happiness, she is perfect in every way. We grow together in ways that I had never imagined I could. We had such a great time bonding with family and strengthening our friendships with them. Big ups to Jeremy and his fiancee Kayla for the radical time and the free pictures, you two are quite the pair. Skyler and Emily, it is always uplifting for Lex and I to see you, you both have positive vibes. I am marrying the most amazing woman on Earth, and I get some real brothers along with her. This adventure was one of many that Lexie and I will enjoy together on our infinite adventure homeward.

Light is Love

2008-02-26T07:21:00.000-08:00

So we've been busy planning the wedding, bringing our families together, and as always, enjoying our time together. It is amazing how many things can happen in such short amounts of time, and it has all been great because it is so easy to see how the Lord's hands have been guiding this whole experience. We truly believe that we are here together because of His guidance. What a blessing, life is just getting brighter and brighter, and we are seeing that our loved ones can see it too.

Knitting a Blanket

2008-02-04T20:06:00.000-08:00

It is cold in my room. Not just chilly, it gets freezing in here. Of course I know she'll always keep me warm. If she can't be here yet, her quilt will just have to do. It sure does the trick though. Slept like a baby in an igloo. Oh baby, I can't wait until we are sleeping in each other's arms. The sound of my roommates leaving to work wakes me up in the morning, and I actually love the feeling. It is the sound of change. I live on the launch pad. T-minus 4, and counting. So many action verbs. Always doing. We will live on a rocketship. We will sail to distant systems, settled in light and life. We will create worlds of our own. Each other we will love and be loved, love to be loved, all while we are living and loving. Breathing in and breathing out a symphony of soul. Happiness streams from our eyes and turns our faces into wet smiling suns shining out the language of the mind, so pure that there are no words to invoke its feeling or sound. Oh, the silence, it speaks so loud. You are the heat that warms my heart, you are the heat that warms my heart.

Anything

2008-01-22T19:02:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been making lists of things I will be getting done over the next few months. They are turning out to be full of simple tasks. This boy has a surprise for everyone. The circumstances of life around the world really are changing. Me, I am going to be ready for the big change when it comes, because yes, it's really coming. For the better. I really know what being in love is now. Anything is possible if you first believe.

A word to the naysayer.
If having faith doesn't suit you, please stop believing in science.

a day in

2008-01-21T14:11:00.000-08:00

The last two months of my life have flown by faster than I ever could have even imagined. It feels so much better to let go and travel where the flow will take you. I never could have even been able to conceive of this. What a revelation of reality it is, Everflowing.

Mosiah 5:15 : "Therefore, I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life, through the wisdom, and power, and justice, and mercy of him who created all things, in heaven and in earth, who is God above all. Amen."

Further down the river...